[First, I would like to give credit where credit is due. British Internet Reviewer, Matthew Buck, also known as the Film Brain of That Guy With The Glasses for reviewing this movie]
In 2008, Gabriele Muccino, the director of "The Pursuit of Happyness", joined forces yet again with rapper, producer, filmaker, and actor, Will Smith, to create what was supposed to be a compelling movie about sacrifice and redemption. And then we ended up with this 123 minute sack of bullshit (for lack of better profanity).
[This doesn't deserve even a posting of the original American[English] poster. I'm more than in my right to be a weeaboo. Especially for this]
In this movie, the beloved Fresh Prince, Will Smith plays Tim Thomas, a man seeking penitence for the death of his fiancee and six other people in a car crash. In doing so, he assumes the guise of his IRS agent brother Ben (Michael Ealy), and invests in the lives of seven "good" individuals, who appear to be worse off: among them is a blind telemarketer (Woody Harrelson), an abused wife, and Tim's deathly ill love interest (Rosario Dawson). Of course, the methods he use to "help" them is beyond contrived and arbitrary.
For example, acting as an IRS worker and using his brother's identity, which I'm quite sure is a huge felony or two, was a poor and shamelessly asinine. Next, was taking the abused housewife to his home... Not a stupid plan at all, it's as if she can pay for this. The telemarketer, whom he cursed out in the start of his backwards ass quest, was given an eye transplant (granted that you don't destroy your expensive entertainment center before finishing this film), which you'll see in the end, and of course, Dawson's character... I've seen enough movies like this to know where this is going...
[Fake ass Federal Agents be like, "I got the key to your failing heart."]
To further expand on the latter, which was the centerpiece of the plot, she has a failing heart, and if nothing is done to counter this, she could die; also upon finding out that Tim deliberately lied to her, she quickly disregards this and decides to have sex with him (the logic behind this is retarded. Ladies, if your man lied to you throughout, would you really give it to him?). Bare in mind, Tim had sex with a deathly ill woman... I want you to think about this... Who the sodding fuck does that?
[Rather die by a jellyfish, than live with a dick up my ass]
Furthermore, to add insult to injury, all these acts of "selfless valor" lead to Tim comitting suicide by bathing fully clothed in a tub alongside a jellyfish, not before calling an ambulance to drag his carcas to the hospital. With that, the organs of a dead man are given to the people he "helped". In the end, his "noble deeds" are celebrated.
[You deserved better, Smith. You're a great actor. You gave us "Summertime". Why this?]
Seven Pounds is 7 metric tons of cinematic emo shit. I cannot stress how ass retarded this movie is. Of course if you're like me and Film Brain, you'll change your religion/ lifestyle not because of the writing, the tone, the setpieces, or even the attitude of the film. No no no, you'll will go APE SHIT insane over the overall message. To sum it up; guy commits the crime of identity theft and imitating a federal agent to stalk and harass 7 people, then kills himself to act as an organ donor. Tons of positive reinforcement for the people watching, right? FUCK NO!! There is everything wrong with this shit. That's like saying hypocrisy and self righteous dickery is acceptable as long as you have different beliefs. The problem with the film was that they dolled it up to make it look so moving and positive. Seriously, who goes around making a movie that glamorizes suicide and uses organ donation as an excuse? Oh wait, this eye-rape of an Oscar-bait.
To end this on a positive note, Seven Pounds did kill Will Smith's winning streak for Best Opening Box Office Hit, but it doesn't mean he's out of work. Of course his El Dorado resume' of successes outweigh shitfests like this 123 minute PSA on the joys of suicide and committing felonies.
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