Captain America: The Wholesome Avenger [Showa's Speedpaint Corner]

Dante: The Devil that Cries [Showa's Speedpaint Corner]

LLCF Episode 2.2: The name of My friend's Bike is St. Magneton

Warning: May cause butthurt.  This will be my only outlet for what I truly feel. If you're not down with that, please leave.  This is comedy done by yours truly.


   What the fuck you mean, your bike gets you bitches?  Dah, fuck it, let's jump right in.

1. This clusterfuck got me feelin all types of happy
2. And you don't know what way you're feelin.
3. That song got you feelin some type of dipshit.
4. If you can't figure out what type of way you're feelin, then you need to see a psychiatrist.
5. I mean goddamn, person. Did you feel some type of passive agressive before some famous rapper fucked your wife?
6. Did you feel some type of mediocre black romance when your suitor passed by?
7. Did you feel some type of emotionally retarded before your greatest disappoint hit you in your fuckin face?
8. Shut your whore mouth and get the fuck out my face with that bullshit?
9. Takin you 30 minutes to figure out shit.... mother fucker...
10. I swear, Facebook is ancient Greece right now
11. Everyone tryin to be the next Socrates or Plato
12. Pretty sure those motherfuckers touched children.
13. Look at your news feed and tell me you don't see some low count hypocrite spoutin out philosophical prostitution
14. I don't think wisdom is supposed to be a fad.
15. or the equivalent of Rent-a-Hoe.
16. These quotes make me want to be foolish.
17. Like doin the opposite of what they tell you.
18. What's that? The fuck you mean Raven Symone told you to be an insecure mate.
19. The fuck you mean the Allstate Guy told you to check your girl and her male friend who's really a side nigga?
20. No Spam, I'm quite fine with my size, ask anyone who saw
21. aw shit, I said too much
22. Back to no. 12, Those niggas weren't even Catholic.
23. Still can't figure out what you're feelin? Well shit!
24. A rapper fucked your bitch
25. and your best friend
26. It's clear he goes two ways
27. Even that got me feelin some type of way...
28. that type of way that makes my brain feel shafted.
29. Well Fuck.....
30. The fuck you mean suck your dick, you're a bike?
31. Well of to play games made by guys who masturbated to Super Mario Bros the Lost Levels.

See you in episode 3.  I'm gonna make it a poin to talk about breasts every third episode. :3 Not just Sayin, it's gonna happen.

LLCF Season 2: RE: ME

Hello, before we go any further. Let's say this. For the newcomers, I try not to be the swag fag who offends without prejudice or bias.  My Clusterfucks although harsh are made with good taste in mind.  Somethin of a comedic experiment for the internet.  In short, This is not for the ill-informed or weak stomached. This is for those who can take an honest opinion from me and laugh about it.  Truthfully this is the closest to a dick fest you'll get from me. This is no longer a Facebook affair for this season, plus this will be done from the ground up. LLCF, Life's Little Clusterfucks, is in it's second season now

Hi rookies Let's Do it:

1. Dwayne Hinds
2. DOB: November 20, 1985
3. Born in Brooklyn, New York
4. First Gen American of Trinidadian full blood
5. Allergic to all kinds of nuts
6. My first plunge into Japanese culture began with martial arts.
7. Learned Japanese at age 12
8. First real take on anime was Yoroiden Samurai Troopers [Ronin Warriors]
9. My first game was Super Mario Bros.
10. since it came out two months prior to my date of birth, I played it in 1990.
11. Lived in Georgia since August of 1992
12. I need a break from this place......... hard.
13. Grape juice is my favorite drink.
14. Even though I was watching Power Rangers for years, Viewtiful Joe [Capcom, 2004] was my first dive into Tokusatsu. 
15. The game had some toku references so fuck yes.
16. Seriously, Capcom hired toku fans around that time.
17. I make comics
18. There's one rule I try not to break on LLCF: Never make dated current event jokes.
19. New Rule: Make more tasteful humor.
20. I enjoy lemon Cake on my Birthday
21. Like any sensible person, I HATE most of the reality shows out there
22. Dry humor is my idea of humor.
23. Oh and let's not forget straightman/dumbass jokes
24. My Kamen Rider Name is Wataru Kurenai [also Facebook]. some call me Kiva
25. My Sentai name is Sousuke Esumi
26. I hate conspiracy theories
27. I loathe pride above anything everything else.
28. I love the color Red
29. I don't think I'm a nice person, I just want to do nice things for those i care for.
30. Half of the rap songs out are 4 minute cock fests in my opinion
31. I am a huge fan of big natural boobs. Now everyone on the net knows. And i have no problems
32. except for it's hard to say that to anyone face to face without pissing them off :(
33. I am a homebody. Clubs and bars aren't my usual Schtick. But cons I do
34. this also includes, theaters, arcades, and other forums
35. My Nickname is Showa60
36. There ya go.... See you in the next episode.

Life's Little Clusterf*cks Episode 11 [The Milk Pillow Diaries Chapter 1] Con Tolerance

[Written days after Momocon 2012][Not releasing 11.5.   My views on today's Anime Conventions still remain. Furthermore, my opinion on the whole Con =/= Consent bit is this: One, whoever came up with this was fuckin slow. Two, this PSA is late, asinine and arbitrary, if not pretentious. Three, this isn't a fuckin strip club, stop tryin to rape cosplayers and female cosplayers, stop actin like you can't get harassed. Be prepared for fuck sake. Especially for guys like me.] Mini-rant over.

The Gokaigers [that's Go-Kie- jers][look em up] taught me something; treat every battle like your last.  Also I noticed a trend between me and my self-appointed Kouhai, Gekko: since my 5th anniversary[more on that later] we've done collabs based on our respective rants during convetion months.  I hope this happens more often.  Speaking of conventions, Allow me to gear up for battle...

"GOKAI CHANGE" -inserts ranger key in mobirates- [GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAIGER!!]

Now that we got that outta the way, let's put on a show.

Also, this would be a good time to clear out if you intend on opposing me like an immature 12 year-old. This fight is for mature audiences only.

For the unfamiliar, my fisrt convention was in 2006. The con of choice was Anime Weeekend Atlanta. I never thought that my first time would be at the Atlantic Southeast's Largest Anime oriented con. This convention turned a 20 year-old to a happy little schoolboy.  To be blunt, some of you either don't know, or have forgotten what it feels like to be at an event that caters to you every self interest.  Alot of you have turned said experience to the equivalent of a bar setting.  Don't get me wrong, I've punched a number or two as well, but my main focus was to feel right at home; enjoy 3 days of tastefully not growing up and see fellow like-minded fans act accordingly.  The day after the con, I would usually set a standard for how things should be from that point on.  I never felt that happy since 2004.  In Atlanta, there are 3 other conventions; Momocon, DragonCon, and the new kid on the block, SeishunCon. As much as I enjoy these conventions, my prejudice amongst them stays the same; AWA sets the standard, they play catch-up [funny, this elitist talk coming from a mid-20's japanophile virgin who can barely get to any of these cons let alone wear a good cosplay.]  Seishun gets a pass from me, but Momo and Dragon.....ya'll in my opinion would wanna step up.

     This is my 6th year in goin to conventions, Momo being the first since 2007 I attend due to the fact that it starts in march.  Also in regards to it's chronological position, this is the proving grounds, and for me, if you can survive this, you can survive later ones. Since last year[2011], Seishun became no.2.  Dragon became my third annual event.  The thing is, Dragon is geared to all spectrums of geek culture as opposed to just anime. Sadly with that [and the overpriced admittance fees] It feels more like an elitist club; quick to weed out anyone who appears to be an initial threat [no tasteless jokes here]. Yet why do I still go? Because I have a right to feel comfotable as a geek.  Then you have the "FINAL BOSS" AWA.

     Lately, it's come to my attention that the much unneeded bullshit I left behind in the real world [or so I assume] has crept it's way in to these outings: resulting in them being more tolerable than enjoyable.  And like a festering disease, it has affected whatever social life i have, much less the fruits of my networking post con. Ranging from oversexed cumtraps to stalkerish dickcheeses.  I would assume that most of my peers have been bullied, sexually harassed, and or provoked into fear in their earlier lives, and for me personally, it's not something I wanna revisit. With what I'm seeing now, I would like to repeat a line from "The Big Bang Theory" that Penny stated

                "You know, for someone who's been picked on their whole lives, you guys have become total jerks"

     Some of you would respond by saying, "that sound's far too naive. get real". Well, yeah; maybe I believe that everyone should literally get along in cons and out of them afterwards. Ignorant-sounding yes, but with things as they are, alot of you can sod off with that.  If one were to remove the geek and anime aspect of these outings, I would whole-heartedly refuse to go.

  In regards to Momocon 2012, I enjoyed it so much, yet I'm compelled to say this; it can do better.  My main purpose is to see some tokusatsu stuff and the usual bits since I first started.  Upon which, this con has like many others, won me some new allies and friends.  And hey, I got to see Little Kuriboh [cool guy btw].  As far as women go, they are the least of my expectations; and I don't mean that as bitches ain't shit" [oh hell no, never that, girls are awesome]. I mean in the sense of, "hmm, ok. bonus points." Of course, like high school, I make female friends alot, but that's never the reason for me going into cons, due to the fact that half of them I met outside of cons and also it's obvious what most of them are into.  Though, in hindsight [HA], you can't help but notices that some of them only go by looks alone.  

     Now that we're in the main topic, I must say this;  Since cons have somewhat become the equivalent of a bar for anime nerds and geeks, approaching someone, especially those that peek your interest has become more arduous than usual.  Is it me, or is that we have adopted society's most preferred approach to strangers that peek our interest.  And for those of you who want to insincerely agree with me, go fuck yourselves; just because you wanna fuck that Princess Serenity Cosplayer just because she got some nice tits, doesn't mean we're on the same side, ya fuckin daft cunt! By the way, stay the fuck away from her, she aint interested. In short, I'm not trying to excuse sloppy incompetent methods here. I'm saying that shit has gotten sour. That said, why the hell are we told to act like womanizers to attract people?  I didn't go to a con to get laid, that defeats the purpose. Yeah, there are nice women in there, yeah, I wouldn't mind snatchin them up, but if I wanted to get laid, I would have started since I was sixteen. And back to you dehydrated ass motherfuckers; don't lump me in your shit. [watch, some of you females are about to agree with me too. Y'all sit the fuck down, you guys are next.] This is why I can't have nice things; you bastards. Like in episode 3 of LLCF, Just because we make some of the same fuck ups don't mean we're after the same thing. You just wanna pipe a bitch and go, I want a girl to have my last name.  For fuck's sake, dude, calm the fuck down[I got this]. Also I've grown more catious about this since 2011. Which brings me to the ladies.....

   Some of you are the reason guys are lookin on the internet instead of real life. "Oh his dick is hard, that must mean he's desparate for sex". Ok first off, I wanna apologize, if I'm not mr.hands off , also, I'm not sorry if I'm  mr.Hands-off. But even if I play Mr. Hands-Off, just a walking penis that's dry as fuck in your minds.  In the end, the first thing on my minds when I see you, even the good girls, when you see me is, "She's hot", "I wouldn't mind establishing a friendship or something meaningful for the both of us" or "please don't kill me or kick me in the junk?" There are some of us that just want your time, even if it's for the duration of the weekend [But I guess it's just sex  to some of ya anyway].  Or maybe the problem is that you had so much dick shoved up every hole in your body that all you hear from us is sex. Hell you think about it more than we do. And for some of you who wanna chastise me for my shortcomings, yes I'm a hopless romantic, but I'm not as dumb as you look.  Let's take it to episode 3 of LLCF then... BOOBS!!  Can I PLEASE be sexually bold for a bit. Most of the time I look at your tits it's by accident. [God damn it, I'm not even trying]. I might be obsessed with em [especially big ones, -smug grin-] but the real scale tipper you should know by now.... [And I swear to God if you say "ass", I'm callin you racist].  

     There was one instance where a girl knew what I like physically, she went on that fact alone and tried to get both us drunk and horny... then charge me money like a prostitute.[bitch crazy] after seeing her seduce another girl's bf, I set my focus back on God Eater. What have we learned? You think you can fuck me like a bitch just because you have a nice pair? GET ALL THE WAY THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!! Apparently no one asked you what Wataru Kurenai look like? [insert scene from Pulp Fiction]

     Moral of this rant, we gotta find what makes us likable to one another. And understand what got us united in the first place.  The reality we live in isn't good enough. People [me in particular] go to take a break from the harsh reality, not to re-live it.  If you're in touch with that, then God [or luck if you're an atheist or non Christian equivalent]bless you. And I know some of you don't like one another, but at least pay attention to what got you in this and every con worldwide in the first place.  Also, If you gotta fuck [male and females] in a con, wear protection at all times. ALLL TIMES!! buy one from Little Kuriboh at least.

Ja Ane ["See ya" in Japanese]

LLCFWDAO 1st Year Anniversary Explosion: Now with canon between SIDAO and Life's Little Clusterf*cks

[Written March 26,2012][This crossover is canon with both Life's Little Clusterfucks and Shit I Don't Approve Of]

January 31, 2012; time – 15:43.

An ice cream truck rolls through my apartment complex.. . . Winter, my nigga.

Fuck it, I can’t hate on the man’s hustle.

Anyway’s what’s up folks? This is Ali.

“Where the hell have you been?? D:

In your mother. . . ‘s purse cuz I needed a condom so I could get in there!A burn within a burn.BURNCEPTION!

At any rate, SIDAO.’s 1st birthday is within an arm’s length. Not only that, LLCF’s birthday was earlier this month. Point? I’m glad you wondered after I said it. LLCF’s Wataru Kurenai and I decided to do another collab. This time, for the anniversary of our serieses.

Wataru: Hi people :)

LLCFWDAO. 1st Anniversary. The sequel. Part 2. Of the sequel. Of th-Okay I’m done.

How do you pluralize that? Seri? Serie? *uncertain shrug* Let’s make this showy!

• Half-ass posts. Most people do this. Very few get irritated by them. “I never liked you anyways.” “Fuck this shit.” “So they were right from the beginning.” Any of these sound familiar? PREGUNTA! Why would you bring personal problems to the public? That’s as ghetto as chicken waffles. No, I mean chicken waffles, not chicken AND waffles. That’s just the half of it. If you really feel it best to bring all of that drama to the world, tell the tale and not the synopsis. HIGHER BEING (cuz people get pissed for Chris’s name in vain.) If I could fire a round into every Disney character once for every time someone left a half-ass post and didn’t explain the damn thing, my nickname would become Vash the Stampede. Except, you know, I kill things. Dammit.

Another question. If mice is plural of mouse, does that mean house’s plural should be hice? And should the singular of ice be ouse? Cuz my mind is full of so much fuck right now.

• Ahh, the lovely girls of the world. Why must you slam yourself before anyone can leave a compliment?*girl leaves a damn sexy picture of herself in a tank top and boxer briefs*“I can see my second chin and rolls on my sides.”

Me: . . . You really said that? I don’t think you can even begin to fathom the thought of the things I would do to you, let alone these so-called “rolls” you have. Now that you pointed them out before no one was gonna say anything, I think I’ll continue to reserve my virginity. Sorry babe, get some self-respect, then get back at me. I bid you adieu. *butler bow & leaves* *then comes back* Crap like that. I despise people who can’t respect themselves enough to say “I’d rather my body than someone elses.” I may not have the perfect body, but I’ll be damned if I let a minor flaw (if there is one) kick my confidence in the balls. . . Yup.

I just wanna go ahead and promote this while I’m here, and I’ll probably do it in my next rant. I’ve finally uploaded music to my SoundCloud account. Look me up on the site. As of now, there are only a few tracks, but they’re legit. Not hippity-hop legit, more of a euphoric legit. CHECK ‘EM, PLEASE.

• Final topic. Half-epic dreams. Yes. Those dreams that are blockbuster-worthy. I love them to death! But then I have to get up and walk my brother to the school bus stop. I recently had this dream where I was co-starring with Robert DeNiro and I was a rookie on the team who could shape the future of the world with one device. The funny part about it was that the villain, played by the guy who was the villain in The Mask, explained to me what I should do with it if I wanted to save the world. Then Robert chimed in with some stuff and sent me on my way while they duke it out. I wanted to see the hot tech girl who was my love interest! (I hope it was who I have in mind right now. *niggas can blush too*) But as I got on the chopper and we took off, I hear my alarm. I tried to go to sleep, like 7 minutes later, and bring it back. Dream Monkey wasn’t havin’ that. I just decided to get up and play my PS3. Moral of the story; fuck your alarm. Fuck that little brother that has to go to school, even if he misses the bus and has to stay home with you all day. It’s worth it if you get to experience the tech girl’s lips on your cheek, if not your own lips.

So that’s all for this wave. Keep in touch for the next installment

Oh god, stop hassling me with him. I like to do things in good taste. I will however dedicate this to a smart boy who didn't deserve to meet an ignorant security guard reject.

With me again is Gekko from our AWA Special.

Oh, this does contain shit that could offend people. And some NSFW type stuff too. Speaking of, this one year old series deserves a cake full of naked buxom catgirls. But yeah, those of you who are bold, stick around.

Popularity doesn't save you from the red dot on your head. You're an even bigger target. Here's one for you; ever been sent to alternative school because of your race? bullied in said school and the teachers did nothing but tell you to exercise ignorance like it will help? Been betrayed and hated by almost your entire class? Classmates saying that you're a faggot just by your appearance? had your clothes splooged on by said classmates? had actual rocks thrown at you? Oh and this one is funny; Head of Ladies of Distinction using her power to brand you as a stalker while you're in a stable relationship. How about the death threats.? That voice in your head saying "where is your God now" when another dumb bitch has you arrested for a crime you didn't commit because she loves the attention. Even though the case is thrown out, you feel like your lord and savior wants you to be a creepy horndog when it's clear that he doesn't want you to be. yeah... I'm sorry if you think life on my end is all gumdrops and ice cream. And before you go thinking I'm playing the victim here, note the smile :)

Fucked up Childhood aside, let's begin...

1. Capcom, you're slowly turning to the bitch that mom warned us about. Nice tits, fine ass, bitchy ungrateful attitude. Friendzoning your fans for money.
2. Stop it
3. How come the plants spill their semen, it's ok, but when we do it, it's immoraly wrong?
4. Oh Disney, why are you not a registered sex offender?
5. All the young minds you fucked...
6. and the farces you pulled with legendary stories.
7. And the time you groped a little girl as Goofy.
8. Don't think I remembered?
9. I bet pedobear is proud of you...
10. Some of these apps on Facebook can't spell for shit :/
11. Ma'am, you...just kicked me in the balls when I told you , “you rock!”
12. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
13. Girl: “I thought you just wanted to fuck”
14. NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
15. Ever hate it when the first thing you see on Facebook is an equivalent to an assrape to the senses?
16. Fuck oovoo. Nuff said
17. To those playing Bayonetta, Both hands on the controller
18. anyone notice how one political party is goin ham and cheese, while the other handles itself like mature adults?
19. No, think about it, one is smackin you with the flag, while the other is less preachy and more symbolic.
20. Being a messenger of God is no excuse for ripping off Top Gun
21. Another pointless ass Facebook status....
22. Now now, Wataru. Just breathe. Breathe. Think of a nice quiet...
23. -I flip a table- FUCK THE BLOODY STREAM YA FUCKIN GWONK!!
24. Yeah, Strippers for Jesus is just as plausible as Kim Kardashian having a real ass.
25. Dude pisses in frontyard...
26. Gets buried in your backyard for criminal tresspass
27. I met a stalker who was bold as fuck....
28. Run slowly the first few seconds
29. Run Like Hell rest of the way
30. If haters are your best friends, then I hate to see your enemies
31. So, I hear you're not wearing underwear. And this shit is supposed to pass for pants?
32. That sir, is a woman.
33. And yes, this specimen does exist.
34. I just read that goliath was around my height.
35. If that's the case, then David was probably the size of a 3 foot blade
36. And like that Goliath disgraced us tall people
37. Gai FUCKING Ikari.... If you look him up, you'll see why he's not allowed in tournaments.
38. And lastly, everytime's a good time for porno music slash comment time.
39. See what I did there?

A big thanks to the fans and Ali for comin through this season. Next time, I'm comin for that cheesecake... Not the literal puke inducer, but the other... So close yet so far...

That's our Piece. PEACE

LLCF 9 [The Boobman Chronicles Chapter 4] The Set Stage: More Random Sh*t

Written February 12, 2012 

-Sits there looking at the interet like they're stupid- Fuck no I'm not doing this shit, it's too soon.  I'd rather do a reality show than this crap....

Warning: Subject to my opinion and contains some shit suitable for spammers, whores, stalkers, and self entitled wannabe adults [that includes folks in the 20's range. Oh you can drink alcohol, suck a dick with that bullshit]  As for the rest of you gluttons for humour and punishment... on with the show...

1. 1.I'm guilty of this too, some people get too fired up they make typos, lkie this!!
2. FAWK!!!!
3. -walks outside looking epic- alright, enough actin like a eunich, time for some nice clean pussy ;)
4. -looks at the population of Atlanta, dejected- yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaah, I'm a stay a virgin.
5. Commercial talks about Bill Gates gettin 300 buck
6. We get some dude name William B.Gates
7. Commercial talks about the President
8. You're thinkin Obama
9. We get Shaquanda President
10. Punch a hole in your 40 inch plasma tv
11. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
12. Isn't Twilight shorter than Harry Potter? Why didn't Mr Sparkles end first?
13. Ever lost your sense of direction when in a new location for the first time?
14. Spiderman is an asshole!! nuff said

  That aside, let's shift gears since this will end the Boobman Chronicles.  Remember Episode 3? Where I brought up a particular subject that some of you are familiar with.  Well apparently, it's high time head to the full meat of my series in the same manner as that episode.

How Far is Too Far?

*Please roll with the eccentric attitude of this as you did since Episode 1. Also the Disclaimer still stands.

Viewer Discretion is Advised

1. Setting up a memorial for more than two years prior to someone's death
2. Beating the snot out of your underclassmen teammate because he was weaker than you.
3. Agging on someone who wants to be loved but leave them no indication that you don't like them until they're arrested or dead.
4. How about in between that, when this person is calling and visiting you unannounced
5. And you leave blameless?
6. Hell naw, you fucked up!! Consequences happen bitch!!
7. Oh don't cry now cause you have a stalker...
8. You think you can walk up to the gates of Hell and cry foul?
9. -backhands dumbass- Bitch, please!
10. Unlike the ones who walk home tryin to act in their right mind who sincerely ask for peace, I'm gonna laugh at your ass.
11. And YOU will behold the will of God for your life.
12. Friend-zoning.....
13. .......
14. ........
15. Whoever invented that shit deserves a pipe full of over-mutated STD's up their asses.
16. You ain't safe either, cockhole.
17. oh you just Fufilled my childhood nightmare.
18. No one's gonna love you.
19. Because you act like a bigger prostitute than the hookers walkin downtown at 3am.
20. Was your victory in that dispute pleasing?
21. Cause I hope you enjoyed being right, at the cost of this person's forgiveness
22. Hey, have you thirsty ass motherfuckers ever heard of jacking off?
23. Get a computer, go to dailymotion, find some virus free porn.
24. doesn't infect your computer
25. doesn't say no,
26. doesn't give you a fake number or rejection line
27. speakin of fake numbers and shit
28. Y'all girls ain't safe from my wrath neither.
29. Y'all too scared to tell him no or get violent to his ass
30. You deserve a dehydrated motherfucker!!
31. In Ramona's words, I rather be dead than be thirsty!
32. They're cunts,
33. You're bitches
34. Y'all deserve each other
35. Dear Millionaire Matchmaker, Dr.Phil and Hoes of the Bad Girls Club and Real Houswives of whatever
36. My dick >:)
37. Speakin of....
38. For you to tell me "I can get any girl I want", and numbers 22 and 28...
39. It's shit like y'all that dry up my dick.
40. Kiss my black Trinidadian ass!!
41. Cuff season's almost over
42. THANK
43. YOU
44. JESUS <3
45. Because this romantic hypocrisy dries my cock too!
46. I nearly gave in to this shit but still survived.

The Greatest justice you can do for me after venting my very heart is to ring the bell for my victory as I sip Grape juice.

I'm Showa 60, and right now, I need a stiffer non-alcoholic drink

-walks off pissed- [....Jesus Christ....